Notes about my Ring Verse Valarin translation

Post linked with: http://capoiatychaiaperierga.blogspot.com/2015/07/ring-verse-in-valarin.html

Words I made up are underlined and bold.

Mitu - Three
Golodor-al - Of an Elf, Noldo. From Quenya "Noldor" (alternate Kuweden is from Quenya "Quendë", Elf)
phela - under. From Valarin "Aþâraphelûn", appointed dwelling
Axazid - Seven. From Adûnaic "hazid, hazad", seven
Axazad-al - Of a Dwarf, Khazâd. From Khuzdul "Khazâd", Dwarf
âxaz-um-âz - Hall-s
raxôn-al - Of stone
Eno - Nine
Adâni-yum-at - For Men. "Adâni" is from Quenya "Atani" and Sindarin "Edain"
turb-ûðân - Fated, doomed
gârâd-ân-at - To die
šâ - One. From Black Speech "ash", one
Pûruz-al - Dark. From Black Speech "burz", dark
Mâxanâz-at Pûruz-al - for the Dark Lord. "Mâxanâz" is Valarin for "Authority"; and "Pûruz" is from Black Speech "burz", dark
ši - in, into. From Black Speech "ishi", in or into
Pûruz-Phelûn-ši - in the Dark Land (in the land of Mordor). "Pûruz" is from Black Speech "burz", dark. "Phelûn" is from Valarin "Aþâraphelûn", appointed dwelling". "Ši" is from Black Speech "ishi", in or into
nû-ši - Where
Âbaþar-um-âz - Shadows. From Vanyarin Quenya "Avaþar", possibly shadows (as it had no Elvish translation, it might be a Valarin loanword)
phelûn-ân - To lie, to dwell, to lurk. "Phelûnân" is from Valarin "Aþâraphelûn", appointed dwelling
ûlûkûz - Them all. From Black Speech "ulûk", them all
ulûz - them. From Black Speech "ul", them
mâxan-ân - To rule. From Valarin "mâxan", authority or authoritative decision
mâxan-ân-at-ûlûkûz - to rule them all (rule-to-them all)
gimab-ân - To find. From Black Speech "gimb-", find (as in "gimbatul")
gimab-ân-ulûz - to find them
aþarâk-ân - To bring. From Black Speech "thrak-", bring (as in "thrakatulûk")
aþarâk-ân-at-ûlûkûz - to bring them all (bring-to-them all)
a3a - And. From Black Speech "agh", and
pûruzum - darkness. From Black Speech "burzum", darkness
girimaph-ân - To bind. From Black Speech "krimp-", bind (as in "krimpatul")
girimaph-ân-ulûz. to bind them

Suffixes:

-um (before a -z ending) - (plural)
-at - to (a purpose), for. From Black Speech "-at" (as in "durbatulûk"), to (a purpose)
-al - (adjective) From Valarin "amanaišal", unmarred
-ûðân - (past tense) From Valarin "dušamanûðân", marred
-ân - (present tense) From Valarin "dušamanûðân", marred
-um - "-ness". From Black Speech "-um", -ness

Ring Verse in Valarin

Mitu anaškadum mâxanumâzat Golodoral* phela šebeth,
Axazid mâxanumâzat Axazadal âxazumâz-ši raxônal,
Eno Adâniyumat turbûðân gârâdânat,
šâ Mâxanâzat Pûruzal Mâxallam-pûruz-ši
Pûruz-Phelûn-ši nûši Âbaþarumâz phelûnân.

šâ naškad mâxanânatûlûkûz,
šâ naškad gimabânulûz,
šâ naškad aþarâkânatûlûkûz,
A3a pûruzum-ši girimaphânulûz.

Pûruz-Phelûn-ši nûši Âbaþarumâz phelûnân.

Literal translation:

Three-ring-s authorit-ies-for Elf (Noldo) under air,
Seven authorit-ies-for Dwarf hall-s-in stone,
Nine M-en for fat-ed die-for
One Authority-for Dark Throne-dark-in
Dark-Land-in (Mordor) where Shadows lie.

One ring rule-to-them all,
One ring find-them,
One ring bind-to-them all,
And dark-ness-in find-them.

Dark-Land-in (Mordor) where Shadows lie.

*Alternatively, "Kuweden" can be used

Notes about my Namarië Valarin translation

Post linked with: http://capoiatychaiaperierga.blogspot.com/2015/07/namarie-in-valarin.html

Additional meanings:

šebeth - wind (air)
aþar - year (festival)
rušur - to kindle, to set on fire (fire)
delgûmâ - hide, covering (roof)
phelûn - land, home (dwelling)

Invented words: (Underlined and bold words are coined by myself)

Aya - Exclaimation. From Quenya "ai!"
ullubân - Pour, fall (leaves). From Valarin "ul(l)u", water
ši - In, into. From Black Speech "ishi", in
wâ - No, not
lûnun - To count, amount
lûnun-al - countable
šarak - Wing
šarak-um - wings
wiyôz - Tree
win-um-ôz-al - trees-like
ullu-3ân - To flow. From Valarin "ul(l)u", water
ullu-3âš - flowed
kîna - Sweet
ôllonâz - Drink. Based on Valarin "ul(l)u", water
mirubhôzê3ôllonâz - mead drink. From Valarin "mirubhôzê", possibly mead (This website suggested that it was perhaps the beginning of a longer word, so this is my reconstruction)
ronokôz - Chamber, room. From Lower Black Speech "ronk", chamber
ronokumôz - rooms
ronâk - deep. From Lower Black Speech "ronk", chamber
Barâdâz - Varda, lofty, high, east (from the sun being "lifted" from the earth). From Quenya "Varda"
barâdal - lofty, high. From Quenya "Varda"
Barâdal - East, eastern. From Quenya "Varda"
baradâš - raised
utô - Beyond
Ezedâz - Rest, West. From Quenya "Estë" (from the sun "resting" into the earth as it sets west)
phela - Under, below. From Valarin "phelun", dwelling
axâzâz -  Hall
axâz-um-âz - halls
nûši - Where. "Nû" is invented. "Ši" is from Black Speech "ishi", in
azôz - Star (See "gil")
az-um-ôz - stars
gunûn-ân - Tremble
wâyôz - Song. From Quenya "Vairë" (in one way songs are carefully "woven" by writers into existence)
(u)mî - Her, she
akesa - Voice
manal - Holy. From Valarin "Mânawenûz", blessed one/one closest in accord with Eru
a3a - And. From Black Speech "agh"
Mâx-êz-imi - Queen. "Mâx" is from Valarin "Mâchanumâz", authorities. "Imi" is related to invented "mî", she
mâx-êz-imi-yal - of a queen, like a queen. "Mâx" is from Valarin "Mâchanumâz", authorities. "Imi" is related to invented "mî", she
nû3âz - Who
mir-ân - Fill. From Valarin "mirubhôzê"
paxîz - Cup
âzi - Me, I (feminine)
âzi-at - for me. "At" is from Black Speech "-at", to a purpose
Rušur-êz - Kindler. From Valarin "rušur", "uruš", fire
Gil - Star. From Quenya "Ilmarë"
Gil-um-âz - stars
thar - From
aþe - Hand
aþe-3um - hands
bânoyôz - Cloud
bâno-yum-ôz - clouds
ulan-um-ûkûz - All paths. "Ulan" is from Valarin "ul(l)u", water. "Ûkûz" is from Black Speech "-uk", all
duš-delgûm-âš - Hidden, lost. "Duš" is from Valarin "dušamanûðân", marred. "Delgûm" is from Valarin "delgûmâ", unknown meaning
gêrun - Mist
phelân-aišu - Lies, lurks. "Phelân" is from Valarin "Aþâraphelûn", appointed dwelling
yu - On
šoyaš-um - Waves. From Valarin "Ošošai", spuming, Ossë
to-yaran - Between us (us-between)
doše - Mist
akhi - Jewel
akhiyum - jewels
Têros - Pass, passage (as in mountains)
(a)mâz - Light. From Quenya "Ilmarë"
Têros-amâz-iyôz - Calacirya, the Pass of Light (Pass-light-of)
âxalli-yal - For ever
hay, hayâz - People. From Black Speech "hai" (as in "Uruk-hai"), folk
Balâz - Vala. From Sindarin "Balrog", Mighty demon; Quenya "Vala", Mighty, power; Primitive Elvish "Mbelek-óre", mighty rising
Bala3umâz - Valar
Phelûn-Bala3umâz - Valinor (Land-Valar)
Uti-gimab - Farewell (Good-find) - "Uti" is invented. "Gimab(ân)" is from Black Speech "gimb-". find
Maška - Perhaps
wî - You
wî-dai - even you (You-even)
tî - It

Suffixes:

- -um - -ness, -like. From Black Speech "-um", -ness (as in "burz-um", dark-ness)
-âz - (nominative)
-ân - (present tense verb) From Valarin "dušamanûðân", marred
-um (together with a word, before -z endings) - (plural)
-al - (adjective) From Valarin "amanaišal", unmarred
-ûðân - (past tense verb) From Valarin "dušamanûðân", marred
-at - to, for. From Black Speech "-at" (as in "durbatulûk"), to (a purpose)
-êz - one who does something. From Valarin "Arômêz", Oromë; "A3ûlêz", Aulë
-iyôz - of (something or someone)
-(i)mi - (feminine)
-(n)i (when used after a pronoun) - (feminine)
-en - again
-(a)yâ - shall
-ai - (present continuous) From Valarin "Ošošai", Ossë

Namarië in Valarin

Aya! Tulukh-um pathanumâz ullubân šebeth-ši,
aþarum wâ-lûnunal šarakum winumôzal!
Aþarum ullûðân mirubum-um šebethal-um
kînat mirubhôzê3ôllonâz ronokumôz-ši barâdal
utô Ezedâz, phela axâzumâz ulbanal Barâdâziyôz
nûši azumôz gunûnân wâyôz umî-3akesa-ši, manal a3a mâxêzimiyal.

Nû3âz mirân-en-yâ paxîz âzi-at?

Barâdâz Rušurêz, Gilumâz Mâxêzimi,
thar Dâhan-igwiš-telgûn baradûðân aþe3um bânoyumôz-um,
a3a ulanumûkûz dušdelgûmûðân pûruz-ši ronâk;
a3a gêrun phelûn ibrî pûruz phelânai yu šoyašum ošošai to-yaran,
a3a doše dušdelgûmûðân akhiyum Têros-amâziyôz âxalliyal.
Dušdelgûmûðân, dušdelgûmûðân Barâdal-hay-um-âz-at-thar Phelûn-Bala3umâz!
Utigimab! Maška wî gimabân-ayâ Phelûn-Bala3umâz
Maška wî-dai tî-gimabân-ayâ. Utigimab!

Literal translation:

Aya! Gold-like leav-es-like pour wind-in
Year-s not-number-adj wing-s tree-s-of-adj!
Year-s flow wine-s-like air-adj-like
sweet-for mead-drink room-s-in high-adj
beyond West, under hall-s blue-adj; Varda-of
where star-s tremble song her-voice-in, holy-adj and queenly.

Who pour-again-shall cup me(fem)-for?

Varda Alight-er, Star-s Queen,
from Taniquetil rais-ed hand-s cloud-s-like,
and path-s-all bad-hid-den dark-in deep;
and out land grey dark lie-s on wave-s foam-ing us-between,
and mist bad-hidden jewel-s Pass-Light-of forever.
Bad-hid-den, Bad-hid-den East adj-people-s-for from Land Vala-r!
Farewell! Perhaps you find-shall Land-Valar.
Perhaps you-even it-find-shall. Farewell!