Sunday 2 October 2022

New klyukva, based on the Russian invasion of Ukraine

Klyukva is a series of stereotypes and memes about Russia and Russian people. The sort that depicts Russia as a land of bears, babushkas (old women), endless winter, Soviets, and drunks.

In 2022, a series of memes emerged that formed a new set of klyukva, mocking the cruelty and incompetence in the Russian army during the invasion of Ukraine.

These are the tropes I collected online for "neo-klyukva", or the second klyukva wave. It's also helps me in writing a Slavic setting that twists these tropes around:

* Russians are Orks - strong but stupid and aggressive, but also weak when disorganised and unintelligent.
* Russians love washing machines and toilets
* Russians love the letters Z and V, forcing others to convert to Putinism
* Russians spend their free time trolling online, burning and bombing cities, and murdering people, especially anyone who is Ukrainian.
* "Russians are filthy, murderous, stupid, uneducated, and primitive"
* Russians are Asians and Mongol hordes
* Wherever Russians go, they hunt down ethnic Ukrainians and torture them, and they vandalise and draw Z's everywhere to force people to worship Putin
* Sunflowers grow from a dead Russian, especially if he dies in Ukraine and he is not picked up from the dirt.
* When a Russian soldier dies, his parents get a new Lada car
* If a Russian's body is picked up before he decays into sunflowers, he returns in a coffin or a body bag
* Blue-yellow colours, dotted i's, tridents, not being allowed to use Z, and vyshivankas (Ukrainian clothing) can anger a Russian. Or he hates the colour yellow.
* >Where have you been in the past eight years, suka?! (Repeat endlessly)
* Calls other people Nazis and fascists, especially if they are unhappy with him, even if they also put Nazis to death.
* Calls anyone complaining about his actions or his emperor a "Russophobe" (someone who hates Russia) and accuses him of trying to invade or kill Russians.